It’s an important question, and the answer could be both yes and no. But before you ask yourself whether you should date a soldier with PTSD, ask yourself how much you understand what it means to begin with.
Why date a soldier with PTSD?
PTSD is typically much worse for those who served in Iraq and Afghanistan. The numbers are typically higher than in other combat regions. Someone dealing with this illness will suffer from extreme anxiety, depression, and guilt. The person you are considering starting a relationship with may be stuck constantly in fight or flight mode, looking for problems to solve and chaos to avoid.
The important thing to remember is that this is a side of them and not their entire personality. Dating a soldier with PTSD can seem daunting, but that same soldier can fill your world with excitement, joy, and loyalty.
Dealing with the damage
They could be the most charming, kind, and supportive partner for 90% of the time, only to erupt when cornered or agitated.
There are now a multitude of avenues where a veteran or active soldier can find help. Having PTSD is like any other illness; it can be addressed and managed. So how do you go about dating a soldier with PTSD in a way that works well?
- The one important word to remember is “triggered.” You’re asking yourself, “Should I date a soldier with PTSD?” but the bigger question is whether you’ll be able to identify and understand the triggers—and then avoid them.
- Always, always, always communicate! The person you’re into will have a mind full of ideas, few of them nice, and more often than not, just talking helps ease them out of their pit.
- Don’t enable them. It’s also important to not simply go along with the things they ask for when they are feeling anxious or angry. Many men and women in relationships with soldiers who have PTSD end up enabling harmful behaviours.
- Provide a safe haven for them. Don’t try to push them into having a better day or getting over what they are thinking or feeling; it doesn’t work. if you want to date a soldier with PTSD, you will have to be very patient when they have bad days.
- Soldiers who do end up getting help for their PTSD can be put on medication. This can impact not just their mental health but their physical state too. Some veterans who are on medication report feeling numb when they first start. It takes time for things to find balance. The other side of the coin is that the meds in question can also impact libido.
These are not things anyone really thinks about when they first think of dating a soldier with PTSD, but they are absolutely things you should keep in mind.
Be at peace with your limited power
Don’t go into a relationship thinking you can fix the person you are with. What you can – and should – try to do for them is be a cheerleader and support system. It’s very easy to fall into the “caretaker” rabbit hole; if you’re in love, why wouldn’t you do everything to help them, right?
The reality is that their struggle is theirs to manage. If that’s something that you can’t fathom doing, you should step back. But if you do decide to take those steps, make sure that you get some support for yourself, too.
I definitely would date someone with ptsd ,I’ve always believed that everyone deserves a chance and no matter what noone is perfect at all,we all have our faults ,I’d definitely be there for someone who is suffering from this ,they need support not criticism .
I am getting in love with one, and I understand the PSTD process as I am a clinical hypnotherapist and counselor. As the article says love yourself first so you can love someone else. They deserve of the love, compassion, understanding, support and caring.
We are all ONE. One Point, One Heart, One Light.
PTSD is contagious mental illness and in long term partners are experiencing PTSD symptoms if they not learn to disconnect from it. To be with someone who has PTSD takes life time dedication and i do not advice if you have small children. Kids go first. But if you strong, subject educated and mature person who up for a challenge….Good luck.
Thought provokeing…i think each person are allowed to make their own decisions.however very serious thoight and research in to the whys and wherefores of PTSD.most definatley must be considered and also any consequences that will or may arise from dateing or been in a relationship with a person who suffers from it. And of course where there are children then they must come first and what effect been in a relationship with someone who has it will also have on them.
Our soldiers most of them get PTSD. Because of all the traumatic things they’ve witnezed. I have PTSD and can be cured with a gd listener someone very caring councilling and medications.
It’s a very different rollercoaster up and down. But if you both can find that love it’s easier to get through as a couple.
I have fallen hopelessly and utterly in love with a wounded soldier. I can only tell you that it’s hard at times and they won’t let you into their world as much as you may want them to. If you are looking for a steady relationship where you spend a lot of time together, it won’t happen. But when you do get to spend time with them it’s so worth it! I manage to keep myself busy and always make myself available when he needs me, he’s been through so much and I will never add anything to his hurt and pain. When you love them you must be patient and never make them feel anything other than perfect! Dating a veteran is not easy and if you are not willing to go the distance and be patient don’t get involved and walk away!