We have made huge progress when it comes to matters of love in the last couple of years, but we still have some mountains left to conquer.

A survey, conducted by Stanford University and released by PEW research centre, revealed that only about 19% of people who identify as bisexual come out to their friends and families. This is in comparison to 75% of gay people who confirmed that they were open to their friends and family about their sexual orientation. 

The survey points out that for a lot of gay men and lesbians, their sexual orientation is what defines their overall personalities. For them, their sexual orientation is almost central to their identity. Part of the reason behind this can be the fact that the LGBT community has had to suffer a lot of discrimination, and still continues to do so.

Things have been chugging along in the right direction, albeit slowly. However, where homosexuality has managed to find its own space, bisexuality is treated with quite a bit of mistrust.

Around 4 in 10 bisexual people say that they find both men and women equally attractive, while roughly the same number say that they are mostly attracted to members of the opposite gender. Even though the LGBT community includes people who are more fluid with their choice of partners, the stark difference in how they see themselves as part of the community is obvious.

The 2019 PEW survey underlined that only around 8% of LGBT adults felt that bisexual men have a lot of social acceptance, while 46% felt that this is perhaps one group that doesn’t get any social acceptance at all.

Of course, the reasons behind these differences can’t be ignored. A 24-year-old participant from the study shared that she felt ‘discredited or undermined’ for being bisexual. She felt that the general tolerance that people have doesn’t necessarily decrease in this case, but explaining to others that you’re gay or lesbian is ‘easier’ since it’s more of a black and white thing. People even feel that a bisexual person is only going through a “phase “.

They may put the B in LGBT but they chose to remain invisible at times because of the harsh reactions they get not just from their family and friends, but also from supposed allies.

Bisexuals are less likely to be married than gay men or lesbian women, mainly due to their sexual orientation. A participant from the 2019 study stated that having ‘two identities’ can be tricky and that is what society generally views bisexual individuals as people with dual identities.

Love is love. And with time, we definitions of what love is have evolved. In time, we hope that even the more sexually fluid find it easier to love who they want to love – and above all, we hope that they find it easier to love themselves.