While Forces Pen Pals has always aimed to build a community for people linked to the armed forces, we can’t help but stand proud of the many couples that we have brought together. But because of our experiencing connecting people we also know of a few hiccups that can happen along the way. If you have fallen for someone in the armed forces for the very first time, make sure you read this piece!

Be ready for the distance

There’s no real way to actually get ready to pull away from someone you would rather be around all the time. There are some things that you should keep in mind. Starting with, this is not a typical long distance relationship. You won’t be able to pick up the phone anytime you like and communication can be tough. Solution: make a schedule. While you could move things around, the likelihood is that your loved one won’t be able to – so find out what their planner looks like and pencil in your virtual dates in advance.

Find a full life

The worst thing about waiting for someone who is deployed is just that, waiting! You don’t know what to do with yourself and often it’s hard to figure out how to fill the days. Solution: build a strong support system. Spend time with your family and friends. The best thing for you to do is not to wait around but to build a life that you can enjoy. When your partner returns they can take their place in said life instead of being the sun you oscillate against.

Find a community

Sometimes the worst thing that we can do is isolate ourselves in our misery. You could be the only person you know who is with someone in the military. However, you aren’t the only person who has fallen for someone that’s trying to save the world. There are others like you! Solution: from online groups on Facebook to meetups in town – nothing helps more than empathy.

Prepare for the future

There is a light at the end of this tunnel, and it is one that will tug at your heart. You can’t help but think about the future all the time and sometimes it drives you mad, sometimes it gives you anxiety. But we think you should do something else. Solution: think of the future – but think of the positives. There will be a point where the deployment would end, instead of only thinking about how everything.