Being a military partner – whether you’re dating or you’re married – has its advantages and disadvantages. However, while your love and understanding as a couple may be the same whether you’re married or are dating, there will definitely be differences in how things go if you’re a military wife or if you’re a military girlfriend.
There are no legal or financial benefits
Married military men get benefits for their spouses and their children, but for military girlfriends, there are no such benefits.
This makes things worse since even if you move to where your boyfriend is posted, you’ll need to start from scratch and without any help at all that can be quite a difficult task. Not to mention overseas postings and the tremendous amount of complications they can bring with them.
Getting introduced to seniors and other officers
Senior officers often just take you less seriously if you’re ‘just’ the girlfriend than they would had you been the wife. A number of times, military girlfriends have complained of how they haven’t really been taken seriously by their boyfriend’s seniors and peers.
Military girlfriends at times talk about how when their boyfriend introduced them to ‘higher-ups’ they felt they looked right through them, not knowing that the two had been dating for a long time. You could stand by your partner through thick and thin, and yet not get the recognition you deserve.
You can’t live on post as a military girlfriend
If you want on-post housing, you will have to be a married couple. Sure, you can tell yourself that you could just move to the area where he’s stationed, but think about how difficult it actually is.
Military wives can obviously move with their husbands where possible, but that’s a luxury only for the wives and not the girlfriends regardless of how committed their relationship may be.
Going on base will always be a hassle if you’re a girlfriend and not a wife
The forces don’t officially recognise your relationship, so it’s difficult to manage things sometimes if you’re a military girlfriend. A simple meeting at the base will be a hassle; he’s going to have to sign you in and out and even then you’ll find it to be a hassle with the guards. Wives have their own IDs so it’s not difficult for them to do the same.
if you wanted to get married I am an Ordained Minister of the Church with power to marry people. I would be willing to offer my services if you need me to.
I think military girlfriends should have the same entitlements as military wifes
Giving this some thought, I would say this would be a sensitive issue which can be raised Iv appropriate channels. If you feel this strongly, make a list of factors that would clarify and back up your request.
Good points 👍 May I add? I’m a 17yr served veteran. Ex female medic and I say female as I’m proud of my gender. Anyhoo, I know all too well having been through those bad boys! Phew I have stories. Iv detoured, as you were, lol, for me, I’d love it all too well that my partner will not be with me all the time. I’m staying put. Let them enjoy their career to the fullest I say and come back to me when they remember im their partner lol lol lol….